


What If I Bleed Red Instead?

by GreyWolves



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Grounder Culture, Lexa Lives, The 100 - Freeform, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6194761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyWolves/pseuds/GreyWolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm happy that this life is about more than just surviving," Clarke whispered as she traced the contours of the Generals' face and neck with her fingertips. "As am I, Clarke." (Disclaimer: I do not own anything in regards to The 100 characters or storylines)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Winter was one of the most deadly and unforgiving enemies upon the ground. The water froze and the forest was blanketed in a light layer of snow; so trees slowly turned white and patches of ice mixed across the dirt trails and the once-vibrant, green clearings. The wildlife scattered to warmer hideaways. The bears slept and the birds retreated and the wolves came in packs, desperate for food.

The Sky People had harvested and stocked a fair amount of resources but like most of the villages within the area, they would need to trade to keep their people fed and warm. They traded knowledge for knowledge; medicine for medicine; technology for tools; metal for furs and there person aid for training.

Clarke of the Sky often travelled around, helping the local healers. TonDC was a hub for cohabitation; many had chosen to train their - Octavia had chosen to live there with Lincoln, while in-training with Indra. The Sky People were clumsy and soft and the Grounders laughed at them as they trained. Despite the reservations and the beat-downs, not a single Sky Person gave up or gave in; they brushed the dirt and mud from there tattered cloths and started again, always better and stronger the next time.

There was an indescribable feeling if camaraderie between the Sky people and the Trikru, something that was created when a common enemy arose. Winter. Scavengers. Raiders. They all protected the land they called home side by side and it connected them. It forged them.

A splash of bright red blood scattered across a patch of white. Lexa hit the ground hard and her vision blurred, her head ached and the blood continued to drip out from a cut on the side of her head.

"Get up!"

The voice was angry. The voice was animalistic. Lexa clenched her eyes and fists shut and heaved her body onto its knees. It was cold and her ears stung; her knees grew numb the longer she knelt upon the ice but her neck and chest were covered in the days sweat.

"On your feet, warrior!"

A muscular hand griped Lexa's hair and yanked her upwards. Lexa growled and spun around, striking blindly at her opponent. The other woman chuckled and easily stepped back, dodging the sloppy attack.

"You need to learn to fight when you senses are compromised."

Lexa withdrew a dagger and swung it with motivated precision at her condescending teacher. It was like a dance - well practiced moves and steps, used to ultimately slip by the choreographed defenses of another. Although Lexa was losing the fight, her mentor now had a few cuts and bruises that she could look on with pride. They were both tiring after hours of sparing when a passing flash of blonde hair caught Lexa's attention. The distraction was all the other woman need to kick her Seconds' legs out from underneath her and send her falling backwards onto the ground once more. Lexa gasped and struggled to breath as the air quickly left her lungs upon impact.

"That girl is a distraction."

"Shof op, Anya." Lexa slowly sat up and managed to take in a few healthy, long pulls of oxygen.

"I think that you purposely get injured when she is here so that she can heal you afterwards," Anya dropped into a sitting position and smirked.

The two women sat on the cold, wet ground, panting and exhausted but smiling and laughing nonetheless.

Clarke was tiered. The healer spent all of her days healing people with cuts from swords, bruises from fists and broken bones from falls and it never ended. Those on the ground were reckless and brutal and it concerned the healer, for one day, she might not be able to help. It happened. People died. Clarke felt every death and then pushed it down; buried it under her responsibilities and kept moving forward.

The tent she worked in was small and dirty and smelt of musk and blood. The equipment was raw and not very sterile and the medicines were hard to find within the local woodlands. Clarke would spend hours with Nyko in the woods looking for the correct type of plants or fungi or mushrooms that would help.

"Clarke."

The healer looked up from her pouch of vials that she was digging through to see Lexa, with blood dripping from her head. Clarke would like to feel surprised but she wasn't. Lexa's visits were common and expected. Still, Clarke instinctually rushed over to the girl standing at the entrance of the tent and cupped her face with both hands to better view the damaged.

"What happened this time? Anya again?"

Lexa's heart jumped at the contact and she stared at the beautiful blonde healer as she delicately examined her wound.

"Anya needs to be more careful."

"Anya will make me a great General."

"If she doesn't kill you first."

"You care."

Clarke stopped focusing on the leaking cut and looked at Lexa; really looked at Lexa, Lexa's charming smirk, deep green eyes and her messy braids, coming undone and coated with a mixture of blood and mud. Clarke smirked and shook her head at the warrior. Yes, she cared and Lexa knew that and it was painful for Clarke to see Lexa constantly hurting. Even if it was simply there way. Simply there culture. Simply their lives.

Later, when the dark covered the area and the temperature dropped and peoples' breaths became visible in the night, Clarke finally ventured out of the medical tent. The healer walked the through the quiet village in search of warmth and a fullness in her belly. There was a fire set-up near the outer edge of TonDC, where the night-watch had their meals and took there breaks; basking in the warmth that the small fire provided. This is where Clarke often found her feet taking her at the end of every long day.

As she approached, Clarke saw Octavia sitting by the fire with a scowl on her face and another warrior sitting near her laughing, and then like clockwork, Lexa appeared from the forest and sat by the two other Seconds with a small grin and a shake of her head. Clarke wondered if this ritual was intended or if it was the product of habit and of all the harsh days mindlessly melding together.

Lexa was the first to spot Clarke, as she always was and as the tired blonde sat upon the fur covered ground with a thud, Lexa handed her a freshly made-up plate of meat and vegetables, and after a soft thanks, Lexa turned back to the fire to make up her own plate. Octavia and the other grounder smile and eyed the pair secretly.

Pleasantries were exchanged and jokes were made and ultimately the warriors left to make there patrols and new warriors took their place. Clarke dragged herself to her tent were she collapsed onto her bed and fell asleep with her shoes and jacket still on.

Clarke had no problems sleeping, she was surrounded by warriors and friends and after a long day scrubbing blood off her hands and cloths, Clarke slipped into sleep quickly and simply.

"Riders!"

The shouts and sounds of running feet jolted Clarke from her deep and much required slumber.

"Riders from Polis!"

Clarke almost went to look for her shoes but then realized that she was still wearing them. Then she almost tripped on her way out of the tent but promptly remembered how to walk. Anya stood tall and regal, flanked by Indra and Lincoln as two Grounders on horseback trotted over to the village leaders. Octavia and Lexa came out of the woods just in time to see the expressions that took over there mentors faces; shock and concern and perhaps a small amount of sadness. One of the riders nodded once to Indra and then they turned their horses around and galloped away.

Anya signaled for her second to approach and Lexa obeyed. Clarke looked to Octavia and she could see the all of her fears reflected back. Something had happened. Something very bad. Something that would change things.

Later as the sun finally began to rise, Clarke could no longer take the silence and stormed uninvited into the Chiefs tent. Indra stopped speaking and looked up from the table. Anya and their seconds looked toward the intruder and no one spoke. No one spoke until Clarke eventually demanded and answer.

"What's going on?"

Lexa looked away.

"This is Trikru business, Sky girl," said Anya.

Octavia gripped the table.

"If it involves our alliance then I need to know," Clarke counted, stepping closer to the party.

Indra scoffed.

"Clarke," Lexa looked up. "Heda is dead." Everyone looked to Lexa. "The clans are too unstable. Without a Commander, war is very possible."

Clarke rapidly looked between the women. "What happens now?"

"A new Heda will be found," Indra spoke. "Anya and I will ride to Polis."

"Lexa is going to be in charge," Octavia smirked and released the table.

"Temporally," Indra added, glaring at her second. "Lexa will be Chief in my absence."

Lexa stood a little straighter, feeling the pressure of the new responsibility. It was heavy. Clarke looked to the acting-Chief and breathed deep, a long and shaky, deep breath. Leaders' burdens are very heavy.

"I should go back to Arcadia. They need to know."

Lexa locked eyes with Clarke.

Anya shook her head.

Octavia sighed. "I can go, Clarke. You're needed here. Healers are needed."

"Octavia is right," Indra agreed. "You should remain here, Clarke."

Clarke nodded slowly.

The day faded away. Anya and Indra prepared and then they rode off to a place entirely unknown to Clarke. Octavia packed and said goodbye to Lincoln and then left for Arcadia. The village hummed with the news of the Commanders death. Rumors of the next Heda spread like fires on the winds.

The Sky people avoided the constant bad mood that seemed to be the Grounders. Clarke cleaned the medical tent like she had many times before, methodically and with an almost superstitious ritual, like if any part was wrong, Clarke would have to go over that area again and make it perfect.

Clarke took longer to leave the medical tent that night and when she went to the small campfire by the village edge, no one she knew was there, sitting and chatting, the way she expected. The way she wanted. Clarke turned around and walked the other way.

Lexa felt the emptiness within the Chiefs' tent. It was bigger than the others and held a throne on a platform near the back. Lexa walked around the table, dragging her fingers along the wood, as she looked around her new and temporary home. It was too big. Too dramatic. Too much pressure. Too much weight on her back. The whole village at her instant command; everyone expecting her wisdom and strength.

The tent was cold and the singular fire failed to provide enough light. It made her shiver and wish that she was outside among friends.

"Chief."

Lexa spun around, pulled from her thoughts. "Clarke," she smiled at the Sky girl.

Clarke smiled back and walked a few casual steps towards the warrior.

"What can I do for you?"

"Nothing. I just. You weren't. I just wanted to see how you are. How are you?" Clarke stumbled over her words.

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke. "I am fine, Clarke."

"I know."

Lexa took that final step forward that let her feel the warmth of the other woman.

"I just wanted to make sure," Clarke swallowed and nodded.

Lexa's gaze lingered on the Sky girls lips.

Clarke saw it coming. When Lexa slid her hand around her neck and gently pulled her closer; Clarke saw it happening. "Wait." Clarke put her hand on Lexa's shoulder to still her and Lexa halted. "I'm not ready to be with anyone. Not yet."

Lexa let her thumb stroke the Sky girls' neck and she let herself bask in Clarke for a moment before talking a small step back, respecting Clarke's decision. "I am patient, Clarke."

Clarke smiled softly. "Goodnight, Chief."

"Good night, ambassador."

Clarke smiled once more and left.

Lexa smirked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia returns with Bellamy and a conflict soon erupts. Lexa must stay true to her people despite what Clarke wants.

The snow glittered down in small sprinkles; enough to leave white specks on ones arms and shoulders and all through ones hair. It required a good shake every now and then to remove the ice from your cloths. The ground became slippery and everything was wet and cold. Fires became difficult to keep alight, even under protection, everything managed to get damp and unusable. 

Octavia returned with Bellamy at her side. The big-brother-instinct had him drop his gun and follow his sister back to the village. It was a surprise for the Grounders to see the Sky General appear beside his sister but the Sky people were pleased; slaps on the back and smiles were shared. Clarke greeted them both with tight hugs and Lexa watched the reunion from a distance. 

"How have you been, princess?" Bellamy asked with a smirk. 

"It's different here." 

"Good different?"

"Just different." 

Octavia looked between the two friends before clearing her throat and indicating that she was going to unpack. 

"Lincoln is hunting," Clarke said as Octavia walked by with her horse. 

"I didn't ask."

"You didn't have to." 

Octavia waved her off and Bellamy chuckled. 

Lexa left and went back into the Chiefs' tent. 

The day was uneventful and passed far too slowly for Lexa's liking. By the time night consumed the lands, Lexa was agitated and aggravated and she had made herself that way. The acting-Chief stomped towards the small campfire by the village edge and her mood worsened upon seeing Clarke and Bellamy sitting together and laughing. 

With a huff and clenched fists she turned around and left, then berated herself for acting that way; feeling that way. Lexa was a leader and had no tolerances for such childish behaviour. If Anya had been present, Lexa would have received a hard smack on the back of her head. 

Clarke saw Lexa turn and leave. Clarke always saw Lexa; her eyes involuntarily followed the woman as she disappeared back into the village. 

"Clarke?"

"Sorry. What did you say, Bell?"

"I was just saying that things have been tense, ever since Pike and the rest of farm-station showed up. With the Commander dead, he may have enough support to pull out of this alliance." 

"Pike is a moron. If we break the alliance, it would mean war again with the Grounders." 

"I think he wants that; I think he hates every single one of them,” Bellamy turned to the fire and began to poke it with a damp branch. The flames flickered in and out of life before dying completely. The Sky General gave-up, snapped the branch and chucked it into the pile of wet ash. 

Clarke watched him and read his eyes, read his hands and read his tone. "Like you."

"Clarke, that's not fair,” Bellamy sighed, refusing to look at the healer. 

"It's not untrue either." 

"Come back with me. They will listen to you." 

"And what would you have me say?"

It was a stalemate that neither could break. Clarke wanted to go back but she could do more good for her people and for the Grounders within TonDC. Bellamy was hesitant to have any type of relations with those on the ground before him and it created tension, an anger and wariness that he couldn’t shake from his bones, no matter what Octavia or anyone else had said to ease his caution. 

The next day was worse than the day before. The perpetual bad mood had expanded and tightened its hold on the populace. The Sky people earned clips on the shoulder as they walked passed and more forceful and brutal training sessions. Clarke was furious by the time Monroe came into the medical tent with a dislocated shoulder. The healer popped it back into place and the patient screamed. 

As the Sky leader stalked through the village and she could swear that the other Grounders were laughing and smirking at Monroe's pain. Clarke was livid. Clarke was out for blood. 

Ryder was standing by the training ring, telling a few of the other warriors how the Sky girl had whimpered as he twisted her arm. They laughed and Clarke growled; walking up to the man and shoving him backwards. 

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" 

Ryder smirked and stepped towards the healer. "Sky people are weak." 

By now, the two had the attention of the locals. Bellamy saw Ryder grip his sword that was sheathed at his side and rushed the man. The tackle was unexpected. Clarke didn't see it coming. Ryder definitely didn't see it coming or else he wouldn't have been so suddenly taken to the ground. 

"Bellamy!" Clarke yelled. 

It was a blur and a rush of punches; Bellamy didn't stop, for fear of his life, should the Grounder get to his feet. Punch after punch until Bellamy realized that the man was no longer struggling. Ryder's comrades pulled the Sky boy off and held him back. Clarke rushed to Ryder to find the warrior still alive, but only just. 

Clarke yelled orders and the observers rushed to help and carry the bleeding man. If Ryder died, Bellamy would die. Jus drein jus daun. Blood must have blood. Clarke could not let that happen. Not to Bellamy. Not Bellamy. Not after Atom and Wells and Charlotte... No more. No. More. 

Ryder was carried to the medical tent and dropped onto a bunk. Clarke cleaned his wounds and gave him pain medication but the head wounds were too great. Clarke suspected that he might have hit his head on something when Bellamy took him down. Ryder breathed but Clarke could not know for sure if Ryder would wake. It was moments like this that she wished her mother was in TonDC as well. 

Bellamy was taken to the chiefs’ tent. 

Bellamy was taken to Lexa for judgment. 

"Clarke!" Octavia rushed into the tent and her eyes said everything. Pleading. Scared. Angry. A sister. 

Clarke stood, hands still covered in Ryder's blood. "I don't know, Octavia. He could die." 

Octavia looked down at Ryder as if trying to see what was wrong; if Clarke was telling the truth and the warrior may not be fixable. 

"Where's Bellamy now?" 

Octavia looked up, her jaw clenched. "They tied him to a tree." 

Clarke ran out of the tent. 

Octavia was left alone with Ryder. "Don't worry big brother. They won't touch you." 

Lexa wasn't even a little bit shocked when the Sky leader barged into the chiefs’ tent and demanded that Bellamy be set free. It didn't even register to Clarke that Lexa's guards had let her pass, despite the anger in her eyes and the stomp of her boots. Lexa rose from the throne and moved towards Clarke slowly, speaking softly. 

"I'm sorry, Clarke. He must pay the price. Ten lashes. And you know what will happen if Ryder dies." 

"I won't let you." 

"What about my people, Clarke? Or is it only yours that deserve retribution? Sanctuary?" 

"That's not what I meant. Let us punish him."

Lexa's eyes narrowed. "Are you fearful of the lashes or are you here because Ryder is dead?" 

"Ryder is alive." 

"Will he remain that way?"

"Yes." Lie. 

Lexa saw the lie behind the layer of pure defiance embedded in the Sky leaders' eyes. "Clarke." A warning. 

"He will live." Lie.

"No." Both leaders turned to the entrance of the tent. Octavia stood stiff with a knife gripped tightly in one hand. Drops of bright blood dripped slowly from its blade. "Ryder is dead because I killed him. He insulted my people and I killed him for it. I killed him. Just now. While he lay in the medical tent. I killed Ryder." 

"Octavia..." 

Octavia look between the two leaders and nodded. “I know, Clarke. I understand. He's my brother. It’s my responsibility now." 

Clarke turned to Lexa but the acting-Chief did not meet her eyes. 

Lexa only nodded once at Octavia. "So be it."

Clarke spent most of the next day cleaning and stitching Bellamy's wounds. The cuts were sharp and shallow. They sealed well but they would leave large scars. Bellamy shook and gritted his teeth, determined not to make any sounds and give the Grounders any more satisfaction. Lexa counted the strikes and on the sixth, Bellamy did scream. Clarke turned away and others smirked. Octavia watched every second, committed every movement to memory. 

The herbal remedy kicked-in and Bellamy finally went to sleep. 

Clarke sighed in relief. 

"Why am I still alive? Did she want me to watch? Watch my brother receive his punishment, before I got mine?" Octavia wondered out-loud as she stroked her brother head. The young Second had sat near the end of her brothers’ cot, whispering reassurances to the tortured boy. 

Nyko moved around the tent, picking up the blood soaked rags and bowls of red water. "Indra would be very displeased to return to her village, to find that her Second had been executed. Lexa will leave you to her judgment," he explained solemnly. 

"Great."

"Indra will not be kind."

"Yeah, I know." 

Clarke stood, stretching her legs for the first time in hours. After thanking Nyko for his help, Clarke left Bellamy to sleep in peace, under the watchful and protective eye of his little sister. 

As she walked around the village, the healer noticed that the snow had stopped falling and ground had begun to show some forms of nature again. The tree where Bellamy was restrained however, still painted a picture. The tree and surrounding ground was a sick mixture of red and white. 

Clarke was angry but she understood. It's was the laws of the ground that had kept these people alive and strong for generations. Bellamy went too far and she understood. In Clarke's mind though, so did Lexa and that scratched at her painfully. This was something Clarke could not understand.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya and Indra are back...   
> Aftermath of Bellamy's punishment.   
> Octavia's future is in jeopardy.   
> Clarke and Lexa drama...

Lexa, Clarke and Octavia stood up straight and unmoving like caught-out children before the Chief and General. Indra looked down at them from her throne with vicious eyes; Anya stood at her left, wearing an expressionless face. The two Trikru leaders had returned in the early hours and the village sluggishly greeted them as they returned home. The cold kept most eyes away but some were anxious to see what type of punishment would be set for the Sky people who had wronged them.

Indra gave nothing away as Lexa reported her student's crime. They gathered in the Chiefs' tent and Lexa bow her head, giving up whatever power she held previously. If Octavia was afraid, she didn't show it; she simply stood and waited for what may come.

"You say that Bellamy had merely wounded him; that Ryder would have lived?"

Clarke looked up at Indra. Bellamy would be easily killed for Ryder's murder but Indra might show Octavia leniency. If Ryder was going to die from his injuries then what Octavia had done would be mercy not murder. The truth was, that Clarke could not know for sure if Ryder was going to wake up but Octavia still had a chance.

Clarke felt like she was choosing between her two friends but it was their best chance. Octavia had made her promise; had made this truth. Lexa was tense beside her and it made it feel deceitful and wrong.

"He would have lived," Clarke pushed out in almost a whisper but everyone still heard.

Indra moved her eyes to her Second. "You killed him," she spat. "One of our own."

"I did," Octavia's voice was strong and determined. The young warrior was prepared for whatever and held conviction in all her actions.

They were dismissed without judgement. Lexa walked away from them without words and Octavia gripped Clarke arm as a silent thank you before heading back to the medical tent. It's was a night that she wouldn't be able to sleep through; a night of fear and worry. Clarke's mind was already compiling an orchestra of terrible ideas to sneak Octavia out and hide her somewhere in the woods - perhaps the bunker that she and Finn had found.

In the end, it would be seen as Clarke valuing her people of the Trikru, and that could damage their already fragile alliance. As a healer, it was her duty to care for everyone. As a leader however, she couldn't let Octavia be executed. The ideas and schemes rushed in and out of her head; very few made sense or created good outcomes.

Clarke felt and heard the crunch if the snow as she slowly walked to the village edge. Lexa sat at their makeshift camp, staring into the blackened remnants of the fire. It had not been ignited again and the night was freezing but Anya's Second didn't seem bothered; didn't seem like she cared.

Clarke cleared her throat as she approached and sat down next to the brooding warrior. Lexa didn't break her gaze away from the dead fire.

"You lied," said Lexa, eventually breaking the tense silence.

Clarke nodded. "He could have woken up."

"You were unsure."

"I couldn't know for sure."

Lexa straightened her back and looked at the Healer. Clarke was shaking - maybe from the cold, maybe not - and she couldn't meet Lexa's angry stare.

"I'm trying to save who I can."

"You chose. You chose to save Bellamy and sacrifice Octavia."

"No I-"

"-Do you truly believe that it will be different because she is Indra's Second? If anything, she'll be made into an example. A warning."

"I'll get her out," Clarke said it before she knew what she was saying.

Lexa clenched her fist and glared at the Sky girl. "You will risk this alliance over your feelings. You chose this, so accept it! You saved Bellamy. You will have to accept what happens to Octavia."

"Octavia was trying to save her brother!"

"Now they are both guilty."

Lexa turned away and focused and a small patch of dirty ice across the way. Clarke watched Lexa give-up and her shoulder slacken.

"You care for him. You would always choose him."

"Don't make it out like I chose Bellamy over Octavia!" Clarke stood and stumbled slightly as she rushed away from the warrior.

Clarke felt her eyes burn and her chest constrict and feel heavy. It wasn't just Lexa's words but her tone and the way she looked at her and away from her that hurt.

It was a nice dream to think that Indra would spare her Second. A dream that could easily be discarded.

"Hello, Princess."

Clarke froze as she entered the medical tent; she expected to sit inside and sulk as she scrubbed her instruments clean, not to see Bellamy sitting up on his cot, grinning poorly.

"How's it been going?"

"You need to be lying down. You need rest," Clarke scolded as knelt in front of the Sky General; instincts told her to throw her arms around her friend but she settled for gripping his knees tightly.

"I'm fine, Clarke. I want to get out of here with Octavia as soon as possible."

"You know."

"Nyko told me. Where is she?"

"Nearby. She hasn't left you since..."

Bellamy griped the bunk and swayed. "We need to leave. All of us."

"You know we can't."

"Clarke look at me!"

Clarke withdrew her hands and sat back on her heels. "I am."

"Octavia will get much worse. I won't let that happen."

"If we do this, the Trikru could break our alliance."

"Screw them. We have the guns."

Clarke sighed. "Let's talk to Octavia first."

The problems of the day had been out on hiatus on till the next day. Clarke dragged her aching limbs and tiered mind to her tent, the one place where she could find peace and privacy. It had become a lovely habit she looked forwards to, falling forward into her fur covered bed and letting the pull of sleep take her away from reality for a short while.

Clarke kicked off her shoes and shrugged out of her jacket and set her concerns aside until morning. A sigh pushed out of her mouth as someone tapped lightly on the wooden pole near entrance of her tent. Reluctantly, the healer wandered over to the closed flaps and push one aside to reveal her late night visitor.

Lexa stood nervously outside, holding a freshly prepared fur over one arm. Wordlessly the warrior held out the fur blanket for Clarke, who looked at her questioningly.

"It's very cold tonight. I made this for you," Lexa tried to explain.

The words hung in the air like the unaccepted fur and Lexa swallowed as the Sky girl stared. The conversation from earlier still echoed in both of their ears.

"Clarke-"

"-What are you doing here Lexa?"

Lexa's arms dropped in defeat and the fur hung unenthusiastically at her side. "I wanted to ask you, if you were leaving."

The confession softened Clarke; she was far to tiered to keep her anger anyway. Lexa looked down and Clarke felt that now-familiar scratch inside her chest. Gently, Clarke reached forward and took the blanket from Lexa's weakened grip and held it close. "Thank you."

Lexa looked up again.

"I don't know if I'll leave or not."

Lexa nodded once.

"It's complicated."

Lexa nodded again.

"My people..."

"They come first. I know." Lexa understood. "Sleep well." With regret in her eyes and unspoken words lingering within her throat, Lexa forced her legs to move and turn and walk away from the Sky girls' tent.

Lexa left and Clarke felt... lonely. She crawled into bed and wrapped herself in the gift the warrior had presented. It was so soft and faintly smelt of the girl she suddenly missed. In the midst of politics and blood and drama, Clarke missed Lexa. When sweet, safe sleep finally took hold of Clarke, she dreamt of Lexa. It wasn't a dream she'd remember details of in the morning but she would remember that it was nice. Clarke would remember that it was a good dream.

The next day brought the sun, small but warm, bright and soothing. Lincoln had watched Octavia sleep all during the night, afraid his love would vanish once he looked away. The two, plus Lexa and another warrior named Yoki, rose early with the small sun to hunt some game. The woods had few creatures left in it since winter came but they stalked through the snow and mud, eager and hungry. Morning passed and the sun rose even higher and no one had seen any prey.

"There are no tracks," mumbled Yoki as he scratched his beard, feeling dejected by the whole morning.

"Giving up?" Octavia snarled, eyes trained forward as they slowly trudged further along.

Lincoln gripped his spear half-heartedly and watched Octavia closely as she remained unnecessarily tense and alert.

"We may not find any game today," said Lexa as she stretched and released her bowstring a few times, itching to let an arrow fly.

"You can go back to the village if you like; hang out around the medical tent like a little lost-"

"-Octavia," Lincoln chided before grabbing her arm and dragging her off to the side a little ways. Yoki and Lexa stopped and waited while the pair argued. Well, Octavia argued; Lincoln appeared to be trying to calm her and unfortunately for him, failing terribly.

Yoki looked away good naturedly and acted as if he was interested in something elsewhere, like a rock or a patch of snow. Lexa sighed and stretched her neck to one side, stretching and pulling the aching part. As her head returned to its slouched position, her attention was caught by the sudden sight of running insects scattered across the ground. They ran in one direction, away from where they were venturing toward.

An uneasy feeling formulated in her belly and she swallowed nervously. "Yoki," she said. The man looked over and down and saw what had caused Lexa's voice to quiver.

"The violent mist. It comes." Yoki looked over to see Octavia stomping away from Lincoln. "Octavia wait!"

Lincoln looked toward the two waiting warriors before he felt the crunch under his feet. The bugs flooded the ground in a desperate wave, needing to escape. Without a second thought Lincoln ran after Octavia and deeper into the woods.

"Lincoln!" Lexa shouted after him.

"We must go," Yoki gripped her arm and pulled her along.

Lexa struggled until she saw the giant yellow could push through the tree and rage after them. They ran hard and fast, back towards safety. Lexa ran so quickly and fluidly that she didn't notice straight away when the cloud had stopped its pursuit; and she didn't notice straight away when Yoki fell to the ground, with a small dart sticking out of his neck. When she turned to help, four people in foreign but recognizable attire jumped upon the drugged man, putting him in restraints and dragging him away.

"Mountain men," Lexa hissed, gripping her bow tightly.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa follows Clarke everywhere...

Chapter four

Clarke was nervous. The cold metal of the firearm she hid beneath her shirt felt heavy and foreign. The constant glare from Indra and Anya made her head spin and her hands shake. It was time for judgment and Octavia was nowhere in the village. Clarke noticed that Lexa was absent as well and that worried her more than she would have like. 

They waited in the large tent, foolishly hoping that the young second would enter at any moment and apologies for her tardiness and give a completely understandably reason as to why she was late. 

Anya sighed and frowned. 

"Where is she?" Indra demanded. The Chiefs hands gripped the armrest of her throne tightly as her jaw clenched. 

The metal burned and itched at Clarke's back. "I don't know." The Sky leader would do what she had to; she would protect her people, at any cost. 

Bellamy made her swear, made her promise, with tears in his eyes, he begged her to save his little sister. Clarke would do what she must. After too much debate, she moved the bed from its central spot in her tent and dug into the earth with her hands until she found the gun, wrapped up in a cloth and fully loaded. It had been a long time since she shot the sky weapon but she was close enough to the village leaders that it would nearly be impossible to miss. 

However, her preparations may have been in vein, as they waited stupidly for a girl who didn't come. Clarke and others had already searched the village; Octavia was gone. Just gone. 

Indra was furious. "You insult us! We demand blood. If Octavia wishes to run away like coward then we will take it from her brother!" 

"Octavia wouldn't abandon Bellamy; you know this. Something must have happened. We just need to give her more time-" 

"-No! No more time. This has drawn on long enough."

Clarke fingers inched towards her belt and lightly slipped beneath her shirt. 

"We will have the Sky General's blood! Tonight the dead will be avenged." 

Clarke's fingers grazed the cold metal. "I won't let you." 

Anya's eyes narrowed and followed the healer's hand. 

"Indra!" Lexa's voice stopped all of the movement within the tent. Clarke's hand frozen behind her back and Anya's hand dancing over the tip of her knife strapped to her leg. Lexa barged in, covered in sweat, with a deep cut across her bicep and Clarke recognized the wound immediately - it came from a bullet. 

"Lexa," Clarke dropped her arm and stepped towards the panting warrior. 

"I'm fine, Clarke," Lexa dismissed. "Yoki was taken by the Mountain. Octavia and Lincoln were with us but we got separated when the killing cloud came." 

"Acid fog," Clarke mumbled to herself. 

"You ventured to far," Anya scolded, shaking her head. 

"We lost track of how far we had travelled. We were hunting..." 

"Enough." Indra "They will either return or they are dead." 

"That's it? We have to go find them?" 

"I will not risk any of my warriors by going near the Mountain for them," Indra snarled. 

Lexa looked toward the healer that haunted her heart and she knew without Clarke speaking, that the Clarke would go looking for her friends near the Mountain. Clarke would do anything to save her people. Lexa made up her mind then, in that moment, as Indra glared and Anya observed impassively. 

The leaves and snow crunch beneath her feet and Lexa smirked, shaking her head at the Sky girl who couldn't walk quietly. They had left in the later hours after Clarke had fussed over the injured warrior briefly and Lexa had gathered up the necessary supplies for their journey. 

Despite heading towards the fearful unknown, Lexa took a selfish moment to enjoy her situation with the Sky girl. The two of them stalked towards the infamous Mountain - a fool’s mission, suicide, a reckless endeavor - and Lexa felt almost giddy. Clarke was determined and worried and Lexa would do anything she could to ease her burdens. That's the decision that Lexa had made, to take Clarke's needs as her own, to treat her people as her own and to devote herself to the Sky leader. If only Clarke knew the type of power she held over the young warrior. 

With no tracks, no blood, no sounds, Lexa led them further towards the villain that had stolen many of her friends and been responsible for much more death. The place that no one explored or provoked. Until a Sky girl lost her friends. 

"How much further?" Clarke grumbled and inhaled sharply. The trek had worn her down; they moved slower as the light disappeared from the land. Clarke was impatient, needing to know that her people, her friends, were safe. 

Night was dangerous and Lexa knew that she wouldn't be sleeping until Octavia and Lincoln were found. Lexa accepted this, just like she accepted the hold that Clarke had over her and simply hoped that Clarke wouldn't consume her completely then spit her out when she no longer had use for the warrior. 

Lexa pointed to a rocky edge surround by trees that left a small under-area protected from the snowfall. They would sleep on dry ground tonight and rise with sun tomorrow, continue their search and hopefully not perish. 

"We're stopping," Clarke realized as Lexa dropped her satchel beneath the curved trees and began laying-out both of their bedrolls. 

"It is too much of a risk to travel at night in this weather. We will build a fire and rest here until the day begins again." 

Clarke itched to argue but couldn't come up with a logical reason as to why they should continue. The fire was small and they remained close to one another for extra warmth. Lexa leaned against a tree, eyes wide and hands griped around a dagger. Predators grew desperate for food during the cold times. Lexa waited as Clarke sleepy and she tried desperately to keep her eyes fixed on the trees and not to let them drift down to the sleeping blonde at her side. 

Hyper aware and anxious, Lexa fiddled with the blade in her hands to help distract herself. It wasn't working. Not at all. Lexa looked down and watched a beautifully peaceful face that was usually so stressed and scared. It made her belly tingle and her heart clenched pleasantly. 

Clarke shivered. As the morning neared, Lexa didn't noticed at first as the healer rolled closer, seeking heat, until a hand followed by an arm, snaked across her thighs and hip. The warrior kept completely still, afraid to wake Clarke for many reasons, as the blonde gripped a little tighter. Lexa would stay leaning against the rough bark, uncomfortable and cold as long as Clarke stayed next to her, clinging to her, needing her.

Lexa's fingers ached to run softly across the sleeping girls face, brush through her blonde hair and caress down her cool back. The warrior fought every urge and remained still as stone. 

"How long was I asleep?" 

"Most of the night. Dawn is moments away." 

Clarke rolled onto her back and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Lexa immediately missed the warmth and the connection. 

"We eat and then keep moving." 

Clarke stared up at the tiered warrior. "Why didn't you sleep?" 

"I am fine." 

"You're the one who's always supposed to be honest with me-"

"-Clarke."

"I never figured you for a liar, Lexa." 

"Stop." Lexa looked up and saw that Clarke was smirking. Lexa shook her head and said, "you're playing with me."

"Sorry." Clarke wasn't sorry. She stretched and hummed as her body woke up fully and she caught Lexa watching her moments but decided not to tease the warrior anymore. Clarke forgot for a wonderful moment that her friends were in trouble and as reality seeped back into her mind she felt guilty that she had relaxed for even a single second. 

Lexa saw her face change as the healer sat up. "Clarke?" 

"We need to keep going. We need to find Octavia and Lincoln and get back to Bellamy." 

Lexa looked away. "Bellamy will be fine. Indra will not harm him. Your General is safe." It was petty, Lexa knew this, but she was tiered and it was cold and they were bordering on the unknown territory; this is what she would tell herself later. 

Clarke saw it, the clench in her jaw and anger in her eyes but she ignored it for now. She had told Lexa that she wasn't ready yet and her friends were on danger and needed her full attention right now. Still, she stared at the warrior who refused to meet her gaze and felt that familiar scratching in her chest. 

The healer watched, confused as Lexa looked out into the forest and clutched the dagger sheathed at her side. The she heard it. A low, almost demonic, growl and she turned her head to see the large predator. A wolf, grey and angry-looking, lips raised to show it fierce set of flesh tearing teeth. Clarke slowly reaches for her gun as the wolf takes a step forward and snaps at the air. 

"Don't move Clarke," Lex instructed calmly. 

It was a second or two or invisibility. 

The creature didn't move and neither did Clarke or Lexa. 

Then in a blur of panic, the wild thing lunged and Lexa raised her dagger and Clarke withdrew her firearm. It happened too quickly for anyone to comprehend in that moment. The gun shot echoed through the trees, scarring away any nearby life. 

Red blood sprayed across the white snow.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke asks her people for help...

Clarke raked her fingers threw her hair as she paced. She was anxious and worried and there was so much blood. Lexa sat, watching the blonde pace back and forth, while holding her arm. The wolf lay dead a few feet away but it had managed to tear at Lexa's arm with its teeth. Lexa was bleeding, a lot, and Clarke was panicking. Lexa watch her own blood seep through her fingers as she applied pressure to the torn flesh.

"Arkadia."

Lexa looked up, concerned about where the sky girls mind was going. "Clarke?"

Clarke starred toward the direction of the sky people's camp. "We have to get to Arkadia. It's closer. My mom can help."

"Octavia and Lincoln-"

"-Are strong. They'll be okay. I'll come back for them."

"Clarke."

"I'm not just going to stand here and watch you die!"

Clarke stared at Lexa with fury in her eyes. "You must."

"I can come back with help. A search party. You need help now." Clarke grabbed her satchel and Lexa shakily got to her feet.

"Clarke-"

"-No. This is the plan."

Lexa didn't move. In fact, she leant back against the tree and waited. She wasn't going to be responsible for Clarke losing her friends; she wasn't going to be the reason Clarke made that choice. It was no choice at all, according to Lexa. The warrior was prepared for death and she had expected it, seen it, caused it, and secretly wished for it.

Clarke was angry and frustrated and afraid and so many other things in this moment. She watched as Lexa simply refused to moved, she stared at her, attempting to force her with her eyes. It was too cold; they were too far from TonDC and not close enough to Octavia and Lincoln. Arkadia was the only plan for Clarke. The only plan she could fathom.

The red blood dripped.

Clarke reacted. Clarke removed her jacket and approached the stubborn woman. Lexa's eyes went wide as the healer roughly wrapped her jacket around her torn arm pinned it forty-five degrees across her chest, so Lexa's hand could rest on her other shoulder.

"It's too cold! You can't-"

"-Keep your hand above your heart. We move now!"

"This is foolish. You're letting your feelings cloud your judgment."

"If you don't want me to freeze then I suggest you get walking."

Lexa tensed and forced herself to follow Clarke towards Arkadia. They moved slowly and Clarke shivered as Lexa breathed deep, sweated and felt the dark across her vision. Arkadia was far and Clarke would make it, Lexa had to believe that, but she did not have faith that she herself would be able to walk that far.

"Clarke."

"I don't want to hear it. We keep moving."

Clarke was focused, determined, until she could only hear her own footsteps. She spun around and gasped at the sight of Lexa on her knees attempting to stand back up, although it was obvious that she had no strength left.

"Lexa!" Clarke ran to her, dropping to her knees before her and cupping her face gently with both hands. "Lexa. Please."

Lexa smiled softly as the dizziness began to overtake her. "Find your people, Clarke."

"You are my people." Clarke leaned forward and rested her forehead against Lexa's for a few fragile seconds.

"Clarke. Don't." It was too late. Clarke lunged to her feet and sprinted towards Arkadia. "Clarke!" Lexa breathed out.

Clarke ran fast.

The wind and the branches stung against her as she blindly ran in the direction of help. She dodge most of the trees and skidded down paths in the snow. She almost fell and almost tripped over rocks but each time she would manage to regain her footing and keep going. Lexa was counting on her to make it to the Sky camp. Lexa wouldn't have been out here if it wasn't for her. Clarke felt responsible. Clarke needed to save Lexa for so many reason.

Lexa leaned back against a fallen tree. The ice made her legs go numb and injured her arm dropped into her lap, releasing small streams of blood. The world around her dimmed and spun. Lexa gripped the dagger at her side and tried to raise it. A shadow approached slowly, cautiously. Lexa wanted to strike. If it was a man of the mountain, the warrior wouldn't be taken; she would ask for death first.

"Open the gate!" Clarke yelled breathlessly at the camp.

Guns were raised and pointed at the intruder. A few guards looked around confused. Those who recognized her hesitated to follow her command.

"It's Clarke!"

"Clarke's back!"

"Open the gate!"

"Get the Chancellor!"

A few reacted as most kept their guns pointed at girl dressed as a Trikru. Clarke swallowed and slowly raised her hands to show that she wasn't a threat.

"Clarke's back!"

"What's wrong with you? It's just Clarke! Open the gate!"

"Someone get Abby!"

The gate slowly creaked open and Clarke let out a gasp as she started to breath properly again. She was relieved and thankful.

Finn was the first to run out and greet her; he grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her over quickly. "Clarke. Are you okay?"

Clarke nodded. "I need help. I need my mom."

Finn nodded and let his hand rest on her back as he ushered the girl back into her home. Clarke ignored the glare she received from Raven as she walked straight into the Ark with Finn at her side.

The trees all looked the same. Clarke led her people blindly through the wild, in search of one injured warrior; it was cold and dangerous and anything could happen and all of the damn trees looked the exactly same. She would notice a pile of rocks and wonder for a moment of that was where she stumbled, or she would spot a low hanging branch and looked to see if she could recognize the culprit who scratched her face as she ran.

Lexa was waiting. Worse, Lexa was waiting and bleeding out faster than Clarke could think a clear thought. Abby followed, but kept glancing towards her daughter, the strong-headed healer leading them, possibly nowhere. Finn followed, unsure about anything except his desire to follow Clarke anywhere. He would spot her tracks left in the dirt and snow and subtly nudge her in the correct direction without the others noticing. Clarke gave him a small smile as a thank you and pressed on.

The blonde heard the murmurs and mumbles and sighs slowly bubbling up into some almost-complaints and it itched at Clarke. What if she got them lost? She walked faster and they rushed to keep up, as the daylight dimmed, signifying the approach of the dark yet again. It would get below freezing once the sun had set and Abby would tell everyone to return to camp, regardless of who was supposedly out there, bleeding to death. Clarke clenched her jaw and fists, already feeling her body numb as the cold wind blew around them in uneven movements.

"Clarke?" Finn lightly jogged up to be at her side.

Clarke wanted to ignore him; she didn't have the time or the metal strength to add him into the equation. He had lied to her - by omission - when he failed to mention his relationship with Raven upon the Ark. Clarke didn't want to think about Finn. Yes, she cared for him; maybe, almost loved him, but he broke her heart. Never again.

"I just wanted to say, that what you're doing right now, is good. It shows the depths of our friendship with the Trikru."

Clarke wanted to tell him to shut-up, but he was good, inside, he was good; he had wanted peace with the Grounders from the very beginning. "I'm not doing this for the alliance," Clarke informed him confidently.

Finn nodded. "Still..." He knew that she had a place with them, and he tried not to think about Clarke never coming back every time she left to visit TonDC.

It wasn't about politics for Clarke. It was just about Lexa. If she would be granted the chance to have one more day with Lexa, she wouldn't waste it.

It was easy to remain focused. Clarke just had to picture those green eyes that she was walking towards, Lexa's tiny smirk that no one else ever witnesses. The quiet way that Lexa cares for her, bringing her food and furs and guiding her through the woods when she needed to find herbs for her remedies. Lexa cared, more than a friend and more than for some alliance. If she got the chance, Clarke would tell Lexa that she cared as well.

"It's about her," Clarke said strongly.

Finns steps faulted and he quickly turned his head to look at Clarke. She had a look on her face that had him slow his pace and let her walk on ahead. He knew in that moment, with that look freshly burnt into his mind, that he had lost her to another. Finn swallowed his feelings and kept walking.

Abby looked over the group and saw shaking hands and blue lips. Looking forward she saw her daughter marching into nothingness. Then, out of the nothing came a large figure. "Wait!"

Clarke saw the figure up ahead and heard her mother behind her, but she still took tentative steps forward; the sound of guns clicking ready caused Clarke to flinch as she tried to stay calm and collected.

"Clarke!" Finn warned.

One figure became two as they came closer still.

"Marines ready!"

"We should turn back."

"Everyone quiet!"

Clarke licked her lips and waited.

The two figures could be heard, sloppy footsteps sounded as they trudged towards the armed group.

Clarke's eyes widened in horror as they finally became visible. "Octavia? Lincoln?"

"Hey princess," Octavia smirked.

Clarke was stunned still but her wide eyes immediately went to the person Lincoln was carrying in his arms. "Lexa."

"We heard the gunshot," Octavia started explaining as Clarke rushed over to Lincoln. "We figured some sky brat was in trouble. That's when we found Lexa."

Abby approached Lincoln who had halted his steps so the older healer could roughly examine his injured comrade. "We need to get her back to the Ark."

Clarke stepped back and allowed her mother to take over as the team happily turned around and started back towards home.

Lexa was sedated. Abby waited as her daughter refused to leave the warriors side. Clarke sat beside her bed for days as the lost blood was replaced and the hypothermia slowly went away, giving Lexa back her bright colour. Abby watched as Clarke whispered into the warriors ear and played with the unconscious woman's fingers. The doctor had offered to treat Octavia who had some minor wounds, but the girl refused and went to camp outside the safety of Arkadia with Lincoln. It bugged her how these kids were transforming into Grounders so willingly, after all that had happened.

"What happened out there, Clarke?"

Clarke lifted her head from Lexa's bed and ran her fingers across the warriors brow. "You saw the wound. Wolf bite."

"I mean with Octavia and Lincoln." Abby sighed and stood up from her desk.

Clarke never let her eyes leave Lexa. "I don't know. Lexa said they were separated when the acid fog came. I guess they were around to hear the gun shot when the wolf attacked."

Abby shook her head and took in a deep breath. "Damn it, Clarke. I know something is going on. Why wasn't Bellamy with you if Octavia was missing?"

"He's busy."

"Clarke."

"I think he had to do some shopping."

It wasn't the time. Abby knew that she would get some answers eventually, "I just don't like how you put all this on your own shoulders. I can help."

Octavia wiped the blood from her neck as Lincoln built a fire for the night. "Heda needs to know."

Lincoln struck the flint stone hard, he new Octavia would want to do the honourable thing. "If you go back, Indra will kill you."

"Then you have to do it."

Lincoln dropped the stones and turned to face his love.

"We got closer than anyone before. We found the tunnels that the Ripas use-"

"-It does not matter, Octavia."

"How can you say that?" Octavia stood. "The Mountain has been taking people for generations."

Lincoln stood to and ran his hands up and down his face as he tried to summon the right words, "The clans are at war. There is no army big enough to face the Mountain - we don't know how many are even inside. The Commander is trying to stop the Ice Nation from invading. The border is a bloody and constant battle. Why do you think no one cared when a hundred people suddenly fell from the sky? It's chaos everywhere. The Mountain is just one more enemy." He dared to take a step towards Octavia who looked like she was ready to storm off and singlehandedly fight the Mountain herself. "Bellamy is fine. Lets just go. You know Luna will welcome us into her clan."

"I'll talk to Clarke."

"Octavia-"

"-You are a coward."

Lincoln blinked and took a step back.

"Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim!" Octavia sneered and walked passed him back towards Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank you for Reading! Let me know what you think so far or if there is something that you would like to see happen within this story! What ships you would like to see? What enemy would you like them to face? ALIE? Nia? Cage? Aliens? ;) oh! werewolves!? :D Kidding. ... sort of.


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